


The Last Time

by anastasiapullingteeth



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel (Comics), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Aromantic, Attraction, Friendship, Gen, Light Angst, One-Sided Relationship, Short One Shot, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-05-20 16:47:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14898285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anastasiapullingteeth/pseuds/anastasiapullingteeth
Summary: Spider-Man and Deadpool aren't friends. If fact, Peter is awfully rude around the mercenary, even though he secretly thinks he's funny. The problem is Deadpool has a huge crush on the Webhead, and Peter... well, he isn't the kind of guy who falls in love that easily.





	The Last Time

**Author's Note:**

> My contribution to [**#AggressivelyArospecWeek2018**](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/aggressivelyarospecweek). Inspired by [this thing](http://anastasiapullingteeth.tumblr.com/post/146208107335/peter-parker-grayromantic-bisexual-peter) I did a while ago.

Spider-Man took a deep breath, resting his head on the rough surface behind him. He was hiding on the side of a building in the middle of Queens, more grateful than ever for his spidey sense. He had just crawled out of his own apartment when he saw him, a flash of red and black jumping from one of the roofs at his left: Deadpool, the infamous mercenary, was out on the streets again, looking for him.

Spider-Man and Deadpool had history. They'd first bumped into each other about a year ago, by accident. Peter wasn't following him, exactly—he was after a group of shady-looking guys that had been lurking outside a local bar, spitting obscenities at whatever woman they saw exiting the place. Peter was about to confront them when Deadpool appeared out of nowhere and pressed a gun against the leader's forehead; Spider-Man watched from afar, keeping an eye on the new guy who kinda looked like a superhero, although those guns and the katanas strapped to his back were a little suspicious. He saw Deadpool fighting those guys, one by one, making it perfectly clear that if they even dare to look at a woman the wrong way, he was going to castrate them (ouch), but when it seemed he was about to shoot one of the jerks in the head, Spider-Man intervened.

Deadpool hadn't been happy with the asshole that had interrupted his fun, but as soon as his white lenses focussed on Peter's masked face, his demeanor changed dramatically. He was suddenly way too flirty, making lewd comments about Peter's ass, and trying to trick him into giving him his phone number. That'd been just the beginning of what would later become a routine between them: Deadpool chasing him around the city to declare his undying love for the masked hero, and Peter trying to lose him as the other followed him throughout his patrol.

Peter always kept a serious facade when it came to Deadpool; he ignored his advances, and did his best to be nice and work with him when the need arose. He always had to fight against the laughter that threatened to escape his mouth when the other made one of his witty jokes, but he thought it was more professional to pretend he didn't find him funny. Everything was going as okay as it could be between them, until one of the criminals they were fighting said, mockingly, that Deadpool had an enormous crush on Spider-Man.

The guy had used other words, of course, most of which were highly offensive (which had earned him a punch in the face), but Deadpool hadn't laugh at the joke. “Not because you're right it means you have to be so ugly about it,” Deadpool had said as he kicked the other man in the ribs. “My love is pure and sacred. And, yeah, I also want to tap that ass.”

“What did you mean he was right?” Peter asked once the criminal was webbed up to a wall and they were walking away of the scene.

“I thought it was obvious, Spidey,” Deadpool answered, looking a little embarrassed but apparently not enough to lie. “It's not often that I quit killing for a pretty face I haven't even seen, baby boy.”

Peter then came to the conclusion that it was better to keep his distance with the mercenary. The shift was easy, he'd been just barely warming up to Deadpool when the accusation/confession happened, so he  only had to backtracked a little. That did nothing to stop the other man in his attempts at wooing Peter, though, so he had resort to Plan B: Hiding.

He almost wished he was in deadly danger at the moment. The idea of Deadpool going after him with a gun in his hand was somehow more appealing than the mercenary trying to romance him up. Not that there was anything wrong with that, he was flattered even, but Peter… How could he put it? Peter was different. He _felt_ different.

Peter Parker was a nerd. An outcast. He knew it, but the people around him weren’t aware of how different he really was from them. Not only was he Spider-Man, the spandex-clad superhero that patrolled the streets of New York in the embrace of the night; no, he was also… not really into romance? His friends usually attributed his lack of love life to his nerdiness,  for years he’d blamed Spider-Man and the amount of time he spent in crime-fighting since he was fifteen; but the more he thought about it, the more he convinced himself there was something else. Something maybe wrong with him.

He didn’t know how to explain that Gwen had been a particular exception, or that he’d broken up with MJ because she insisted there was something missing between them. As a photographer, he appreciated beauty; the girls were both beautiful, he could spend hours with the lens of his camera directed at them, but he was sure that was another thing entirely. For Peter, the whole concept of falling in love was… strange—it didn’t happen often, at least not as often as you would expect in someone his age. He’d never told anyone about it and at that point in his life, he was too afraid to even attempt to do it, so he'd changed the way he related to people that showed even a small hint of romantic interest in him: he pushed them away.

He hated himself for every time he yelled at Deadpool, or the many times he'd pretended to be annoyed at him. He hated that he was awfully rude and low-key cruel to the mercenary, but he wanted him- no, he _needed_ him to fall out of love with him. Peter was sure if they kept hanging out or, God forbid, they became friends, he'd end up hurting Deadpool the same way he'd hurt others; as much as he liked Deadpool, eh, _physically_ , he knew the mercenary wasn't mentally prepared for just a hookup. So, no. Better stay away and hide in the side of buildings until the coast was clear.

Of course, his Spidey sense didn't always work, and more often than not, it decided to fail when it came to Deadpool.

“Hey there, Spidey boy!” he heard behind him when he reached the roof, ready to throw a web line and begin his patrol.

Peter made a mental note to double-check before crawling out of his hidden spot. “Get lost, Deadpool. I don't have time for this.”

"You never have time for me anymore, sugar lips. But this time I've brought a gift with me, as a sign of my absolute devotion to that bouncy ass of yours," he declared, pulling out a greasy bag of mexican food and shaking it in front of Spidey's eyes.

Peter sighed wearily. "Dude, can't you take a hint? How come you never get tired of me yelling at you?"

"On the contrary, Webs. That's one of my turn-ons. Yell at me some more, I'm feeling a tingle in my lower parts," he said, somehow wiggling his eyebrows through the leather of his mask. "Anyway, tacos?"

"No, Deadpool. I won't eat tacos with you. Just... Just go away, okay? Don't make me break your legs and leave you alone and forgotten in a dumpster."

"This is because I have a crush on you, isn't it?" the mercenary asked, tilting his head. "You really didn't know, wow. And here I thought I was laying all my cards on the table. I shoulda step my game up. Maybe dust off the maid dress-"

"Deadpool…"

"No, no. I get it. Must be weird having Freddy Krueger's ugliest son lusting after you, but hey, it's okay-"

"Deadpool."

"I never actually thought you liked dick, so it's fine-"

"Wait, what?" Peter asked, louder this time, and covering Deadpool's mouth with his hand to stop his babbling. "You never thought I was into guys?"

Deadpool tilt his head again, mumbling something against Peter's palm until the younger man remembered to remove his hand. "Uh, no?" the mercenary said, more a question than a statement, then he joined his hands over his chest in a hopeful gesture. "Why, are you gay?"

"No," Spider-Man replied without missing a beat. It wasn't a lie, really; he did like dick, but he wasn't gay. "No, I'm not. Why are you always trying to convince me to go out on a date with you, then?"

Deadpool shrugged and sat on the edge of the building. "Because it's fun. You look so ridiculous when you're throwing a fit, I just can't help myself,” he finished, snorting through his mask and taking a wrapped taco out of the bag. “Tacos?” he offered again; it was clear he wasn't going to give up anytime soon.

Peter was shocked. For the past three months he'd been avoiding the guy thinking he really wanted to become his boyfriend or something, when in reality he was just... making fun of Peter? "So you really don't have a crush on me!" he accused, pointing at Deadpool with a trembling finger.

The merc had lifted the bottom of his mask to eat and was trying to cover his chin with a hand, but the surprise after Peter's words had made him stop mid-motion. He was now staring up at him with fried meat and gravy coming out of his mouth. "Uh?"

"You'd been making fun of me all this time! How- Ugh! You're such an asshole!"

"Hold your horses for a second there, Spidey. What in the hell are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about."

Deadpool finished his bite and sighed in a way that told Peter he was probably rolling his eyes at him. _How dare he_. "I do like you, Webs, but so what?" he said, unwrapping more of his taco and licking the tip of his fingers. "Right now I'm just trying to share this ridiculously savory treat with you, stop overthinking everything and just take it. Jeez, no wonder you barely have any friends."

Peter blushed and lowered his face. Gwen used to say that, too. "You're always overthinking everything, Parker. Stop worrying and have some fun!"

He hated to admit it, but maybe Deadpool was right. 

"Just one taco..." he mumbled, finally taking a seat next to the mercenary.

Deadpool didn't say anything else as he handed him the bag.

**Author's Note:**

> The ending is open to you're imagination. What do you think it happened to them after that one taco?
> 
> You can find my other fics and edits for this event [here](http://anastasiapullingteeth.tumblr.com/tagged/aaw%2A). And don't forget to check the blog **[**aggressivelyarospec**](https://aggressivelyarospec.tumblr.com)** and support arospec creators!


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